How to Reduce Conflict with Mediation

Conflict is an inevitable part of life. When done in a healthy and productive way, it can be an opportunity for growth and forming stronger relationships. Unfortunately, conflict can all too easily cause more harm than good.

Reducing conflict in a healthy way through mediation is an essential skill that can save relationships and encourage forward progress. Here are some tips on how to use mediation in your own life.

Understand Mediation

The concept of mediation revolves around having a third person who helps to resolve a conflict between two people. This third person is known as the mediator, who must be a neutral party. The process is ineffective if the mediator takes sides. Mediation is the process of discussing an issue and coming to an agreement on whatever the conflict is.

Any information discussed must remain confidential between the parties involved in the mediation process. This allows for a safe space and builds trust for future conversations and challenges.

It’s also important to remember that mediation should be a voluntary endeavor. When you force anyone into participating, you’re not going to get the most effective results.

Establish Ground Rules

Before anything further in the mediation process starts, it’s important to set ground rules. This is essential for a successful outcome. It’s ultimately up to you to decide what those should be, but here are some that are worth considering.

Each party should listen to the other openly and actively. Both people need to be able to share their part of the conversation without interruption. Agree to take turns speaking. Make an effort to keep judgments to a minimum. Set a goal of attacking the issue at hand and not each other.

Choose an Environment

In the spirit of keeping things neutral, you’ll want to choose a neutral environment. This should be somewhere that both parties feel comfortable and willing to do the work.

The little details can make a big difference in this process. The lighting and temperature can make or break the mood. Your seating arrangement can also be welcoming or make the situation feel confrontational.

Remain Calm

Although easier said than done, it’s important to remain calm when you’re in conflict with someone. Conflict can quickly become heated, as there are going to be raw emotions and vulnerable moments. More than likely, each person will be passionate about their beliefs. Taking breaks to regain calm during mediation can help everyone involved feel more comfortable and able to communicate more clearly.

Aim to Understand

In a conflict, each party generally believes their side is correct. It’s easy to focus on only your side of the argument or disagreement, but listening with the intent to really understand is crucial. There may not be one right answer, but rather a happy middle that can be reached through compromise. Show that you are engaged and willing to understand even what conflicts with your own personal views.

Be Respectful

Emotions may run high, but this process should always be kept respectful. Perspectives should be shared peacefully and received with openness. It’s worth remembering that each side is bringing their own opinions and feelings, which aren’t always rooted in fact.

Approach giving feedback in the way you would want to receive it. Give compliments or praise before you go straight to criticism.

Focus on the Future

The point of mediation is to move a conflict forward. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the past during this process. You’re all coming together to brainstorm a solution. This process can be creative and collaborative. You may even find a better solution to your problem than you imagined.

What Comes Next

Knowing how to communicate effectively and problem-solve is a skill that takes some work. Being able to resolve conflicts can be even more of a challenge. If family mediation is something you’re interested in exploring, Phoenix Family Mediation Solutions can help.